Kamikaze Bus

OK, so I've decided to go off topic a bit today and not talk about my daughter for once. The reason for this deviation? My crazy new temp bus driver. My regular morning bus driver is apparently on vacation for 2 weeks, which is a shame, cause he's awesome!... Always smiling, very friendly but not all in your business, and doesn't drive like a crazy person. I'm particularly fond of that last quality.

So I've been riding with this new guy all week and have become increasingly surprised by his behavior, and not in a good way. I guess his first day or two, he was getting a feel for the route, the people, etc... cause I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary about him, other than he wasn't particularly friendly, but he wasn't exactly mean either.

Wednesday was the first day he really stood out to me. I decided to wear a skirt that day, which I rarely do for work because of the rather large and somewhat work-inappropriate tattoo on my leg... But whatever, I said screw it that day. It was hot and I wanted to wear one. I got on the bus and out of no where he gave me this weird look and said "hey, nice tat!" while looking me up and down. I was like, ok, creeepy... and sat a little further in that day. He then proceeded to harass every poor old person that got on the bus with a half fare card by making them show ID to prove how old they were. This was just plain mean on two levels. First, some of them were so old they could barely stand, and they had to fumble around looking for their ID. Second, the bus was MOVING and they're trying to hold on for dear life. It was just a sad sight to see. This guys is OBSESSED with staying on schedule to the point where the moment you step on the bus (before you even put you money in, swipe your card, what have you, he's off and running while you bounce around and pray you don't fall on your ass trying to get to a seat...

Yesterday, I think he was a little extra jacked up on the caffeine... he was taking one of his turns so tight, I think the woman in the car he almost sideswiped had a heart attack!.. The look on her face, OK while kind of funny, was an understandable mix of terror and pissed-off. He also continued to "check out" one of the other girls getting off the bus just a few stops before me...

Yet what he did today I thought was REALLY inappropriate. One of the passengers had left her keys at the front of the bus and gone to the back. A passenger called out to her that she forgot her keys, very nice of her. The bus driver then started talking to the woman who had been nice enough to alert the other passenger, saying how she should have given "him" the keys so it would have been harder for the first woman to get them back, yada yada.. I was like "did he really just say that???"... He then continued to make comments about the woman WHO WAS STILL ON THE BUS!!.. Then, when the nice lady was ready to get off the bus, rang the bell and the bus pulled into her stop, he WOULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR UNTIL HE FINISHED TALKING WITH HER! I would have been like oh hell no, you open that door now. What an ass. And yeah, one more week with him, I can hardly wait.

Bus, Bags & Beyond!

Today I picked up Zoe from day care, like I do most everyday. I do have to start by saying the bus route to get her at the new day care is SO MUCH better than it was getting her from the last day care. This school in general has been so much better in so many ways, but that is a topic for another post.

We arrived at the bus stop as usual and sat in the shelter. It was 90 degrees, I was hot, I was tired and I was ready to be home with my baby girl. We waited, we waited and we waited some more. A woman came along and decided to smoke right next to us. I'm a former smoker and I still have to admit I gave her the evil eye for smoking next to my baby, though it clearly did no good as she didn't move an inch.

Finally, the bus arrived almost 10 minutes late, which let me tell you, in the heat with a struggling baby is not a fun wait. Thank gawd the bus was air conditioned, but it was also packed. We sat down next to a very nice lady who didn't seem to mind that Zoe was kicking her repeatedly. Not intentionally mind you, but she was doing it all the same. I was very apologetic.

I have to say, ever since I read my friend's blog about unruly children and the annoyance they can be to other people, I've been acutely aware of Zoe's behavior in public and have come to realize that on occasion, I AM one of those parents with one of those children. Sorry to all you folks out there that find it incredibly irritating when my child insists on staring at you, or banging on the bus seat... But she's a baby, babies do shit like that, deal with it. I do apologize when she crosses over into other people's personal space, like when she would accidentally kicked the woman next to us, or when she opens her sippy cup and it sprays the other passengers, or yes, especially when she threw my travel mug and hit the woman in front of us... for those things I do truly feel bad and as a parent, try my best to keep them from happening, and then I move on...

Speaking of moving on, where was I?... Oh yes, the bus finally arrived, was packed, yada yada... Part of the reason for the tardy arrival and cramped conditions became clear when I boarded, a woman in a wheelchair was on the bus and two rows of seats had to be closed to accommodate the chair... Cool, no problem with that. I, however, did have a problem with the 300+ lb guy that decided he HAD to get one of those seats and parked himself in the aisle right next to us!... We were now sandwiched between the sweet old lady making faces at Zoe and the enormous ASS that was right up against us. The worst part (and ok somewhat funny but mostly gross) was that every time the bus bounced, Zoe's head would bounce off the guys butt. Did that make him move? Of course not! So I just tried to think of it as a giant airbag protecting her and prayed to god he didn't fart.

Within a few stops, the woman in a wheelchair exited the bus, the seats were free and airbag man sat down. We also moved a) to give the sweet old lady more space and b) to give Zoe more freedom. So the rest of the ride was fine, right?... Oh soooo wrong.

Enter the bag lady... And by bag lady, I really do mean bag lady. If you look up the definition, she was it. In fact, I had no idea one tiny lady could carry all those bags!! She really had it down to an art form. However, before her stop, she decided to share with us some fond memories from her childhood. She ripped a page from one of her many magazines and handed it to us exclaiming "I don't need this page and it will be fun for you to do with her"...



I looked at the article she handed me, it described how to make stilts for your kids out of tin cans. She then went on about how fun it was when she was a child, described the various ways in which to decorate the cans and of course, my personal favorite, which tin cans would work the best, (for a toddler, apparently the smaller baked beans cans work the best). While it was sweet that she wanted to share this knowledge with me in hopes of brightening Zoe's childhood, I can't pretend I didn't find it weird. And yet, I think that was the highlight of the ride... Because it only got worse from there....

Next to the bag lady was an older man with a cane. He stood up as we approached his stop and I remember thinking, man this is a big guy!... Easily 6' 5" and a little on the heavy side. He started to slowly shuffle past us and as he turned, I realized his pants were completely off his butt!!!... I'm not talking plumbers crack here, I'm talking full on buttocks right in our faces! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I never imagined that would be the first ass my daughter would see, although thankfully I think I was more traumatized than she was. I'm just incredibly thankful he didn't drop anything! *shudder*

I of course told my husband about this weirder than usual ride when I got home, who by the way is planning on joining me for the bus excursion to get Zoe on Thursday. Bet he can't wait now! *wink*

Granola Water

Yesterday, we went on a family trip to St. Joseph to pick something up (hopefully I can talk about that soon), and decided to make a day of it. Having been fascinated by the Pony Express for a while now, I was excited to go see the museum as well as see the house where Jesse James was shot. We also made sure to scout out a good park for Zoe to get her running around time and brought a little picnic with us. The Pony Express museum was a lot of fun, Zoe's first trip to a museum actually unless you count the gazillion museums we went to in New York when I was pregnant with her... OK, it was only 3 since the Guggenheim was undergoing renovations, but still, she doesn't really have a vivid memory of them, so this was definitely her first. We were excited they actually had stuff for her to see and do, but by the end, she was way too fussy to risk going through the Jesse James house, so we just drove past it on the way to the park.

Once in the park, we were excited and surprised to see they had Oxen!... Go figure, in a fenced in reserve right in the middle of the park. After spending a few minutes with them, we were off in search of the perfect stretch to let our baby run free. A tougher task than expected since there were a lot of hills and sharp drops (some on to concrete!) in this very beautiful but somewhat perilous park. After a couple of circles we finally settled on a spot near the amphitheater that had a pretty good stretch of land for her to frolic.

Then, it was picnic time and oh, how meals have become a fun and interesting venture with our sweet baby girl. Today's poison? Granola Water!... After chewing on a piece of granola bar for what seemed like an eternity, Zoe was obviously thirsty and eager to "share Mommy's water"... I gave her the bottle to take a sip and before I knew it, she'd spit the entire contents of her mouth into the bottle, giggled and proceeded to drink it!... Ick. Needless to say, the water was now hers.

It never ceases to amaze me, the things babies will eat vs. the things they refuse to eat. Let's see, mommy's BBQ meatloaf, won't eat. sidewalk chalk, will eat. Tuna noodle casserole, won't eat. Yard dirt, will eat. Lasagna, won't eat. Her shoe, will eat. It's a mad, mad world inside a baby's brain...

Zoe's First Sentence! (Sort of)

OK, so it's not exactly a run on sentence, but exciting just the same... We went to wake up Robb this morning and as I walked away with Zoe to head back downstairs, she called out "Bye Bye Daddy" as she waved to him!.. It was clear as day and just about the sweetest words I could have heard. It's those moments that make the poop grenades well worth it!

Mother's Day 'Gift'

It was the end of the perfect Mother's Day... Robb had gotten up early to help with Zoe and give me my present (an awesome framed picture of our baby girl) and this was of course after he stayed up the night before cleaning! We spent the morning together as a family, something I'm sad to say we just don't get enough of with Robb working nights... My mother and uncles, Barry and Dale, came over and we had a really nice afternoon on the back deck watching Zoe run around in the gardening hat they got me. It was beyond adorable as you can see. [See more pics here]

Eventually, Zoe took her afternoon nap (How I miss those days when I could do the same)... But it did allow my mother and I to get caught up and rest a bit ourselves. Much to my delight and surprise, Zoe even woke up in an amazing mood! (She's usually a bit cranky when she first wakes up... hmm, wonder where she could have gotten that from? *wink*...)

Then the three generations went out into the garden where we planted sunflowers for my grandmother who passed away last year. Now that we have a garden, it seemed only fitting to plant her favorite flowers in her memory. It was a really special moment... Made all the more special of course when Zoe kept trying to drink from the watering can. It was quite a sight... Although I have to say I'm proud that she poured more water on the ground than she did into her mouth.

I made us all a nice dinner (Sans Lemonup), while Zoe and my mom continued to play and watch Little Bear. I love watching the two of them together... The adoration they both have for each other is such a joy to see. Robb joined us for dinner and our wonderful Mother's Day was coming to a close. It was almost time to put my sweet angel to bed and I would have some much needed quiet time. I started her bath and Robb headed back to work after dropping mom off. It was just the two of us and I couldn't be happier. She was in a great mood and I had her all to myself!...

... And then it happened. She gave me my Mother's Day 'gift'... One she had clearly been saving up for me for a while. In between splashes, she started to make this grunting noise and just as I asked her what she was doing, there it was... A poop nugget floated to the surface of the water like a land mine tossed out to sea! "ZOE!!" I gasped... Not mad, just in shock and of course, disgust!... She then proceeded to stand up only to reveal the MOUND of poop balls neatly settled at the bottle of the tub. Nine of them (yes, I counted in disbelief at the sheer volume of them!)...

Needless to say, her bath and bedtime ritual were cut short. I had her dry and in a diaper faster than you could say diaper and was plopping her into her crib (under protest of course)... I then proceeded to spend my quiet evening time cleaning poop out of the tub. Ahhh, the magic of children. They really know how to say "I love you mom... Happy Mother's Day... I made this just for you"... *sigh*...